![]() ![]() Talk with the child or young person about who needs to do what and when. Once you’ve decided on a solution, you’ll need to work out how to make it happen. It might help to give each solution a mark out of 10 to guide the discussion. Then it’s a matter of going through the remaining solutions to decide which one is really the best one. Solutions where the negatives really outweigh the positives can be crossed off the list. Go through the solutions and make notes about the positives for each one, and then the negatives. Don’t offer any judgments or opinions while the ideas are being collected. These could be realistic or crazy – it doesn’t matter at this stage and the more open you are to ideas, the more comfortable your teen will feel. Write down all the possible solutions that you and your child can think of. Listen without interrupting – you might discover something about the situation that you didn’t know. Talk with your teen about how and why the problem has developed. Factual problems are easier to solve than emotional ones. So instead of the problem being ‘Why don’t you care more about your school work?’ it becomes ‘What needs to change so that you start getting your school assignments done on time?’. It helps to put aside the arguments and focus on the facts. Problems are often wrapped up in a lot of emotion. Finding answers and solving problems might seem hard now – but it will get easier. Reassure your teen that their brain is forever learning new skills and that they will get better at things the more they practise them. Tell them about the times you made mistakes or failed, and talk positively about what you learned and how you feel about it now. ![]() ![]() Help your teen understand that making mistakes is one of the best ways to learn. Sometimes kids with low self-esteem may take failure very hard, or might be too scared to look for a solution in case they fail. Being able to sort things out for themselves will be a big confidence-booster. Eventually, you’ll be able to pull back and let them work through problems on their own. Carers play an important role in helping the kids in their care learn how to solve problems.Īt the beginning, you’ll need to help your teen work through their problems, using some of the tools and strategies described here. Learning how to cope with challenges and disappointments doesn’t come easily for anyone. ![]()
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